Book Title: Acsquidentally In Love
Author: K.L. Hiers
Publisher: Dreamspinner Press
Cover Artist: Tiferet Design
Genre/s: Paranormal M/M Romance, Mystery, Tentacles
Trope/s: Solving Your Own Murder, Boy Meets God, Hidden Villain, Consentacles
Themes: Restoring Faith, Seeking Justice, Self-Sacrifice
Heat Rating: 4 flames
Length: 60 000 words/ 188 pages
It is the first book in the series.
Nothing brings two men—or one man and an ancient god—together like revenge.
Nothing brings two men—or one man and an ancient god—together like revenge.
Private investigator Sloane sacrificed his career in law enforcement in pursuit of his parents’ murderer. Like them, he is a follower of long-forgotten gods, practicing their magic and offering them his prayers… not that he’s ever gotten a response.
Azaethoth the Lesser might be the patron of thieves and tricksters, but he takes care of his followers. He’s come to earth to avenge the killing of one of his favorites, and maybe charm the pants off the cute detective Fate has placed in his path. If he has his way, they’ll do much more than bring a killer to justice. In fact, he’s sure he’s found the man he’ll spend his immortal life with.
Sloane’s resolve is crumbling under Azaethoth’s surprising sweetness, and the tentacles he sometimes glimpses escaping the god’s mortal form set his imagination alight. But their investigation gets stranger and deadlier with every turn. To survive, they’ll need a little faith… and a lot of mystical firepower.
“I’m sorry,” Loch said suddenly, his attention stolen away from the television and focusing intently on Sloane.
“What?” Sloane turned his head, staring in shock. He didn’t think gods were much on apologies.
“I obviously caused you great discomfort with my actions earlier today,” Loch explained, his hand reaching for Sloane’s, “and yes, while I am a trickster… I don’t aim to always be a complete bastard.”
“Loch,” Sloane murmured softly, surprised by how genuinely sorry he sounded.
“I got this for you,” Loch said, a tentacle reaching over to present Sloane with an incense bowl. “It upset you, but… it also brought you joy. I thought you might like to have it.”
“This is from the museum!” Sloane gasped, recognizing it immediately as the one that had reminded him of his mother’s. “You stole this? Loch! How did you, it, it was in a glass case! We need to take it back!”
“Technically, the museum stole it from my family,” Loch said smugly. “It was an offering for my aunt, and I was merely making an effort to return it to its rightful owner. Since she’s asleep, it’s my responsibility to liberate it on her behalf. I am now giving it to you.”
“I can’t… I can’t accept this!”
“Don’t you like it?”
“Then please take it,” Loch urged, “with my most sincere apologies.”
“Thank you.” Sloane was touched and looked over the bowl with a helpless smile. It was as good of an apology as he would likely ever get from an immortal being, with or without the well meaning theft. Suspicious, he added quickly, “I’m still not going to have sex with you.”
“We’ll see.” Loch laughed, giving Sloane’s hand a playful tug.
“No, we won’t,” Sloane said despite a big grin creeping onto his face. He didn’t pull his hand away, letting their fingers tangle together even after he put the incense bowl aside. It felt nice.
A few more sips from his drink and Sloane ended up cuddling against Loch’s side with his arm around his shoulders. That was nice too.
“Do you… uhm… do you want something to eat?” Sloane asked quietly as the hour grew late, and he realized that sandwich was the only thing either of them had had all day.
“I don’t require sustenance,” Loch replied, smirking fondly down at Sloane. “Immortal, remember?”
“Would you like… something?” Loch asked innocently, his tongue swiping slowly over his lips to indicate he was definitely not talking about food.
Sloane’s cheeks flushed immediately, his attention drawn to Loch’s mouth as he stammered, “N-no, I’m actually pretty good right now.”
Loch shifted, using his arm around Sloane’s shoulders to pull him closer. He cradled Sloane’s face, fingers running into his hair as he purred, “Are you absolutely sure?”
No one had ever looked at Sloane the way Loch was right now, with such heat, such adoration and raw desire. It made his blood pump excitedly and his breath catch in his mouth before he could properly inhale.
“Not really,” Sloane replied weakly.
Loch nosed along Sloane’s cheek, sighing, “Why are you so afraid to let yourself experience pleasure with me?”
“I don’t just go around ‘experiencing pleasure’ with people!” Sloane protested even as his voice cracked when he felt Loch’s tongue slide along the edge of his ear. “Fuck….”
“Why not?” Loch asked, his breath hot and husky in Sloane’s ear.
“Because… because….” Sloane couldn’t think straight, stammering to think of an answer. It was impossible to gather his thoughts with Loch’s tongue at his ear and his fingers curling so sweetly through his hair.
“Because?” Loch pressed, calm and perfectly innocent.
“When I’m with someone, I want it to mean something,” Sloane said finally, his head foggy and trying to remain firm. “I want something that will last.”
“It can last all night,” Loch promised, his lips lightly pressing against Sloane’s jaw. “And the night after that… and the night after that….”
“Fuck it,” Sloane hissed, dragging Loch into a hot kiss, shoving his tongue into his mouth with a loud moan.
Q & A With K.L. Hiers
Tell us a bit about yourself and your writing
Hi there! My name is K.L. “Kat” Hiers, and I’ve always wanted to be a writer! It’s still such a trip that I finally did it, and it’s been over a year now! I love stories that are steamy and exciting, and I especially love the paranormal and unexpected. No matter how dark or weird things get, I always make sure to write a happy ending. I want to write fun stories that excite people, make them laugh, and always leave them with a smile.
Tell us about your new release. What inspired you to write it?
Absolutely! My new release is called Acsquidentally In Love, and it is the first in my new Sucker For Love Mystery series. It’s the classic story of a lonely private investigator who falls in love with a bratty tentacle god while trying to solve a murder. It’s hot, funny, and I am so very proud of this story.
Though most people know me for my BDSM and erotica work, I have always loved fantasy. This is a contemporary spin with lots of tentacles. It actually began as a birthday present for a dear friend who wanted some tentacle porn, something I’d never written before. By the end of it, I was totally hooked.
Now, there’s nothing wrong with porn without plot, but I so desperately wanted some plot in a really big way. I had to come up with some kind of universe where it would be ‘practical’ for a mortal to engage with a tentacle god and have some steamy good times. With a lil’ help from Lovecraft and my obsession with Norse and Greek mythology, I ended up creating an entire new religion for my little world.
As the religion came together, the plot followed, and I beyond excited for everyone to read this story. I’ve put so much love and time into making this universe, and I sincerely hope you all enjoy it.
Do you have any advice for other writers?
Never give up and make sure to research your publishers! After being rejected multiple times, I had convinced myself that being published was never going to happen. I was lucky enough to meet a very special friend who came around and ever so kindly put her foot in my ass to try again. A few months later, lo and behold, Cold Hard Cash was accepted for publication. Rejections are hard, but don’t stop trying. I wish I hadn’t – but more than that, I wish I had known more about the publishing world.
Looking back now, I understand that part of why I was rejected had nothing to do with my book. It was because I had no freakin’ clue what I was doing. I didn’t understand what the difference was between a blurb or a synopsis was, and I certainly didn’t get how important it was to research publishers before trying to submit to them.
For example, if you send demon erotica to what turns out to be a children’s publishing house, they are probably not going to be interested. Be smarter than Kat. Don’t do that.
Are there any characters that you write, that are based on you, or people you know?
There have been a few! Rowena from CHC is based on a dear friend of mine who has been known to be very fierce with a high heel in some dire situations. Christine Beccali of Hard Earned Cash was inspired by a buddy that I used to play World of Warcraft with. She’s a lawyer, and she helped me figure out the legal aspects of the plot. There is also some truth to the ‘Face Fucker’ story, and Christine’s last name was her Warcraft character’s name.
Do you have a favourite character and/or book you’ve written? Who, what and why?
Azaethoth the Lesser from Acsquidentally In Love, without a doubt. All of my characters are special to me, but there’s just something about Azaethoth that I can’t get enough of. He’s so much fun to write, and I never know what he’s going to do. He’s such a stubborn little shit, and he has zero filter. He also has very little understanding for how to interact with mortals who don’t realize he’s a literal god, and he’s always getting himself into trouble with that sassy mouth. Beneath all of the snark, he’s an absolute darling with a big heart who would do anything for the people he loves… but he will still totally take your stuff, I’m serious, so lock it up if you ever meet him.
Are there people in your life that annoy you, and you write into your books?
I plead the fifth! Ha! Seriously, although I have given some special people in my life little nods here and there, I’m actually not comfortable with putting someone I don’t like in a story. Once they’re in there, they’re in there forever, you know? It’s permanent. I’d rather not have any kinda negative reminders of whoever that person was, especially in my work…
Now, that’s not to say that I haven’t done it before and maybe thought up some very creative ways to torture and maim and dismember people… Ahem. I’m growing every day as a person and as a writer, and yeah, it’s something I’m trying to avoid in the future.
If you had access to a time machine just once, is there anything you’d go back and change? Either on a personal level or an historical event?
I wouldn’t change anything personally, but historically… hmmm. Maybe give Alexander the Great some antibiotics? He was a really fascinating human being, and I wonder what he could have done with his life if he hadn’t died so young.
What are your writing and personal goals for 2020 and beyond?
I just want to keep writing and writing and writing. I never want to lose this momentum. I’ve been writing for so many years, and I have several manuscripts in my ‘vault’ that I’m trying to clean up for publication while also writing brand new stories to publish as well. If I can at least publish two books a year, I feel like a freakin’ winner. Like bam, there we go. Anything more than is just icing on the cake. I wouldn’t turn my nose up at a movie deal, ha, but I’m honestly so happy to be writing professionally and hopefully sharing stories that people enjoy.
What are you working on at present? Would you like to share a snippet?
In addition to the five million other things I’m working on, I’m currently editing the sequel for Acsquidentally in Love where we find out what happened to that mysterious disappearing roommate… here’s a little teaser for you! Hehehe!
Ted watched the portal close above him, and he weakly lifted his head to see where he was. He was lying in a puddle of something sticky, and the room was reminiscent of an old castle throne room.
Big ceilings, lots of stained glass, fancy throne…
He was also completely surrounded by monsters.
Giant scaled things with tentacles, humanoids with spiraling horns jutting out of their foreheads, twisted feline creatures with sharp teeth, and fish-like worms were all around him.
Ted scrambled to stand up, but he slipped in the sticky mess beneath him. He could feel the goo all over his back and hands, sliding around as he struggled to get out of the mess. He bumped into something cold and whirled around to find a dead body.
It was one of the feline creatures, its eyes lifeless and milky, soaking in a puddle of…
It was blood.
“Pardon me, coming through!” a deep voice growled, echoing throughout the massive chamber. “Stand aside! This is official royal business so move your ass!”
Ted was nauseous, staring up at a human figure pushing his way through the crowd of monsters.
He was broad, thick in stature and sporting a nasty smile full of pointed teeth. Otherwise, he looked quite human. His hair was jet black, cut short with a well-groomed beard streaked with silver, and his eyes were a spectacular shade of gold, looking over Ted like he was a tasty piece of meat.
He wore a three piece suit, but it was a much more flashy ensemble than Ted would have worn for his job at the funeral home. The jacket and pants were black, but the tie was an obnoxiously bright purple, and he could see a glittering watch chain hanging from the man’s matching purple brocade vest.
“Well, aren’t you just a pretty little thing?” the man greeted. “What’s your name, darling?”
“I’m, I’m…” Ted stammered, looking around frantically as the monsters began to back away. Whoever this man was, he was definitely in charge. There was something about the way he was looking at Ted that made him blush and his heart beat a little faster.
“I’m Ted… My name is Ted,” he managed to choke out. He wondered if he was dead or if this was some sort of nightmare. His mind was having trouble processing that any of this was real. “Where am I? What is this?”
“Welcome to Xenon, darling,” the man replied. “I’m Thiazi Grell. I was voted most likely to get detained for illegal activities by my primary class, very avid Tetris player, and reigning Miss Pretty Petunia Pageant champion for the last two hundred years. Oh, and King of Xenon. Obviously.”
“Huh?” Ted squeaked.
“Would you like something to drink?” Grell offered. “Something strong. Help you calm down, put some more hair on that luscious chest, come to terms with the murder charges…”
“With the what?”
Do you get emails asking why characters didn’t get together and whether you’re going to write more about them?
I get so many messages about Jimmy and Boss Cold, and people always want to know if there’s going to be another book for them. It’s extremely flattering that my readers love my characters so much, especially those two since they were my first published couple, and I am happy to say that the end has not come for them yet.
I have a collection of short stories currently with my publisher that follow Jimmy and Cold throughout the year between Cold Hard Cash and Hard Earned Cash. It’s basically twenty-five chapters of sexy smut, and I’m just waiting for a release date! After that, I am planning to write a prequel that shows Boss Cold’s rise to power from Mickey Tamerlane’s POV with a focus on his rough love affair with Roger Lorre.
After that, I may have just one more book for Jimmy and Cold. I don’t want to wear out their welcome with readers, no matter how popular they are, but I think they’ve got one final story to tell.
If you were able to quit your day job and write full time, would you, and why/why not?
Without a doubt. This is my dream. This is what I’ve always wanted to do. I would miss my job, but I get so much more satisfaction and happiness from writing. A year ago, I never even thought that I would ever get published, and now I’m about to release my fourth book. I’m going to keep writing my little heart out and see what happens!
About the Author
K.L. “Kat” Hiers is an embalmer, restorative artist, and queer writer. Licensed in both funeral directing and funeral service, she’s been working in the death industry for nearly a decade. Her first love was always telling stories, and she has been writing for over twenty years, penning her very first book at just eight years old. Publishers generally do not accept manuscripts in Hello Kitty notebooks, however, but she never gave up.
Following the success of her first novel, Cold Hard Cash, she now enjoys writing professionally, focusing on spinning tales of sultry passion, exotic worlds, and emotional journeys. She loves attending horror movie conventions and indulging in cosplay of her favorite characters. She lives in Zebulon, NC, with her husband and their six children, three of whom have paws and one who sometimes thinks he does.
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