BLOG TOUR: The Good Ship Lollipop by Patrick Benjamin (Excerpt + Q&A with Author)

BLOG TOUR

Book Title: The Good Ship Lollipop

Author: Patrick Benjamin

Publisher: KDP Publishing

Cover Artist: Rebecca Covers

Genre/s: Contemporary M/M Romance, Comedy

Trope/s: Love triangles, Frenemies

Themes: Moving on, learning to love again

Heat Rating: 3 flames

Length: 140 000 words/430 pages

It is a standalone book.

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Buy Links – Available on Kindle Unlimited

Amazon US | Amazon UK

Kyle must choose between the love of his past and the man he could love in the future

Blurb

For fifteen years, Kyle and Dustin seemed like the perfect couple. That was until Kyle came home to discover Dustin in bed with a yoga instructor half his age and twice his flexibility. Two years and countless therapy hours later, Kyle has almost put the incident behind him. Being nearly forty and single makes a man bitter, but he’s making do.

Yet, when Kyle’s best friend asks him to be her Man of Honor, on her ten-day Caribbean wedding cruise, Kyle finds himself in a most uncomfortable situation. He ends up trapped on a seafaring vessel for ten days with the man who practically destroyed him.

Face to face with Dustin for the first time since the breakup, unresolved feelings float to the surface, and Kyle and Dustin both begin to wonder if their story is as over as it seems.

While navigating unchartered waters with Dustin, Kyle also meets Jax, a sexy Australian who likes to cruise in more ways than one. Kyle is more than happy to let Jax distract him for ten days. Still, when Jax suggests that he might want more than just a few days of fun, Kyle must choose between the love of his past or the man he could love in the future.

Excerpt

No, absolutely not!” I nearly choked on a spinach leaf.

“You have to come,” Sapphire insisted. “I want you to be my Man of Honor.”

“A) That’s not a thing. B) The answer is still no.”

“I can’t get married without you.”

“Sure, you can. There’s no law against it. People do it all the time.”

When Sapphire offered to take me to lunch, I should have suspected something treacherous was afoot. Sapphire and I were like sisters. Sisters of different races and one of them with a penis, but sisters, nonetheless. Our relationship was something enormous and incomprehensible to most people. On paper, we had nothing in common. We had completely different backgrounds and cultural experiences that cultivated entirely different perspectives of the world around us. Despite those differences, we had found each other.

As close as we were, the girl had never offered to buy lunch. She seldom volunteered to pay for anything. That should have been warning number one. When she suggested my favorite Italian restaurant, Armando’s, that should have been warning number two. When she volunteered to foot the bill to attend her destination wedding cruise, I should have known to prepare myself for the Armageddon of bad news.

“You spent fifteen years with the man. What are ten more days?” She spoke with her hands. A piece of chicken flung off her fork and onto the table beside us. The senior couple, who were trying to enjoy their eighteen-dollar salads, glared at us like we each had two heads.

“I’m so sorry,” I mouthed to them.

“I can’t believe you would miss your best friend’s wedding over a tiny, little, uncomfortable inconvenience like this.”

“A cockroach infestation is a tiny inconvenience. Gonorrhea is uncomfortable. What you’re asking me to do is far worse.”

“Don’t be dramatic,” Sapphire said, waving her hand. “Dustin is not that bad.”

“Isn’t he?” He was too tall, too fit, too classically pretty, and all too aware of the fact. He was narcissistic and untrustworthy, but he was also charming and exceptionally good at putting on an innocent act. He could flash his white teeth and his dimples and get people to believe anything he wanted. Still, if you looked into his eyes, you could tell he was soulless.

“Why would you want everyone to join you on your honeymoon, anyway?” I shifted focus. “I hate to tell you this, but if you can’t stand to be alone with Justin for ten days, you probably shouldn’t marry him.”

“Very funny,” she said dryly. “I want everyone there because I want my wedding to be an experience. An amazing memory we can all look back on together.”

“I am not spending ten days, on a tiny boat, in the middle of the Caribbean, with him.”

“It’s a cruise ship,” she corrected. “Besides, you won’t be with Dustin. You’ll be with me.”

“Lies!” I wasn’t buying any of it. “I know exactly what will happen. You and Justin will be too busy enjoying your Caribbean honeymoon to spend any time with me. Then I’ll be trapped, in the middle of the ocean, with no one to talk to except Beelzebub’s concubine.”

“He’s not going to be the only other person there, you know. Several other people will be in our group. You can make one of them your wingman. My father loves you. You can hang-out with him.”

“Honey, don’t take this the wrong way. If I’m on an exotic vacation, and the only man who wants to spend time with me is your sixty-five-year-old arthritic father, I might drown myself in a bathtub.”

“Don’t be silly,” Sapphire dismissed. “You’ll be surrounded by water. There’d be no need to draw a bath.”

I did not look amused.

“I can’t believe you’re still so angry. It’s been over a year.” It had been eighteen months since the breakup, and yes, I was still harboring, hurting, and hating.

I hadn’t seen or spoken to Dustin since the incident. As instructed, he had been gone when I returned to the apartment. With Sapphire’s help and some very strategic planning, I had avoided him throughout the entire decoupling process.

I left yellow Post-it Notes on everything he could take and was extremely vindictive about it. He could have the Blu-ray player, but not the discs or the TV. He could take the kitchen table, but not the chairs. I even kept the Keurig, though I permitted him to take his pods. What kind of monster drank decaf anyway? I also instructed Sapphire to guard the jazz record collection with her life. I detested jazz music, and we both knew it. I planned to pawn or destroy the albums later.

The first few weeks after the breakup, Dustin tried tirelessly to communicate with me. He sent me text messages that I didn’t answer and left voice mails that I refused to listen to. Dustin tried everything short of smoke signals. He even sent me an old-fashioned letter, which I didn’t open and burned immediately. I had nothing to say to him and had no desire to hear what he had to say to me. I had never been an incredibly trusting person, and his betrayal had reinforced all those walls that I had been trying, for years, to dismantle.

Being the forgiving person she was, Sapphire tried to convince me to give Dustin a second chance. Still, I refused, steadfast in my determination that he’d had his chance. Since then, she had been careful not to mention him. Even though I knew full well that she saw him regularly. He was her fiancé’s twin brother. She had to remain cordial. I did not and had no intention of ever being so.

“You simply have to come. We’re going to so many beautiful islands: Turks and Caicos, Bonaire, St. Thomas, and Aruba. You’ve always wanted to go to Aruba.”

That was true, but still, “If you put us on a ship together, I promise you, I will throw him overboard.”

She smiled wide, her teeth gleaming white against the contrast of her chocolate skin. “That’s fine! Just promise you’ll make it look like an accident.”

“Duh,” was the most mature response I could muster. “I don’t want to end up someone’s bitch in a Caribbean prison.”

“Don’t you, though?”

Dirty, prison sex would have been the most action I’d seen in a while. Thirty-nine may have been young by hetero standards, but in the queer world, I was practically a spinster. Being classified as an elder gay meant that my dating pool had been reduced to a few categories. First, those men who were so weird or creepy that nobody wanted them, or second, those who were so bitter and jaded by relationships past that dating them was like trying to build a house out of straw. I was a card-carrying member of category two.

Of course, there was always a third group. Younger men. They were excellent in theory, with their zero percent body fat and their permanent erections. However, too often, their perfect bodies and sexual appetites only camouflaged the fact that they lacked any real substance. If brains were dynamite, most of them couldn’t blow their nose. There were always exceptions. Old souls that knew how to converse about more than just Rhi-Rhi’s new album or T-Swizzle’s latest boyfriend. Those younger men wanted more than sugar daddies. Though, I still couldn’t imagine having enough in common with someone who hadn’t even been alive during the original run of Friends.

It wasn’t that I couldn’t get a date. Even close to forty, I was still cute. Not as attractive as I was at twenty, but I wasn’t a hunchback or anything. My deep green eyes matched my red hair, which I kept cropped short to avoid the bozo-clown-realness it would become if left to grow-out. I was tall and still decently shaped, a little thicker in some places than I’d prefer, but that came with age. At least, that’s what I told myself. I had a good understanding of where that put me in the queer hierarchy. Guys would still bang me; they just wouldn’t brag about it anymore.

Admittedly, the realization that I was no longer prime real estate took some getting used to. Before Dustin, I had been a penthouse in Manhattan, but after fifteen years in couple-town, I was shocked to discover I was now a brownstone in Queens. Next stop? Condemned building in Jersey!

That being said, I was optimistic about my life, even if it meant spending it alone.

“The ship is huge,” Sapphire was still talking. “You won’t even really have to see each other. There are also excursions at every port: zip-lining, snorkeling, hikes, surfing. Come on. You can orbit around each other for ten days without committing a violent felony.”

“Great, so I can spend the entire time by myself?”

“There’s going to be thousands of people on this ship. It’s a floating city. If you’re so worried about being by yourself, you could always try making friends.”

“You’ve known me for twenty years. Am I the type of person who makes friends?”

I was about to find out.

Q&A With Patrick Benjamin

The prized possession you value above all others…

My friends and family. I know that sounds lame and cliché, but it is true. They are my biggest inspirations and motivations in my life. However, if you hope for an answer a little more materialistic, I would have said my e-reader.

The temptation you wish you could resist…

Junk food: Pizza and chips, most specifically. I am an emotional eater, and I tend to go through a gauntlet of emotions when writing. Fear that what I am writing is not any good. Confusion because I do not know where I am going with the story or what message I am trying to convey. Frustration because I know where I want to go, but I am not sure how to get there. In all those scenarios I eat, which can be a problem.

The film you can watch time and time again…

The Devil Wears Prada. Everything about it is brilliant.

The person who influenced you the most…

My maternal Grandmother. She loved reading. She would probably two or three books a day—her favourite genre being romance novels. Sadly, she died before I ever wrote a word professionally. I think if she were alive today, she would have been my biggest fan.

The poem that touches your soul…

Yesterday I cried by Iyanla Vanzant. If you have not read it, I highly recommend you do so. I think it is one of those pieces to which everyone can relate, especially during these challenging, isolating times.

The event that altered the course of your life…

Working in a gay bar in my early twenties changed the course of my life profoundly. Before then, I had no gay friends; I lacked a circle who understood what it meant to be different and be gay in the early 2000s. Working there, I learned about the importance of community. Thanks to them, I am continually active in the LGBTQ community today, through volunteer work, performing, and writing queer content.

The song that means the most to you…

Don’t Stop Believing by Journey. It might be cliché, but there is just something about it that feels inspirational and motivating. I feel a sense of possibility when I hear it. Always have, even as a child.

The happiest moment you will cherish forever…

The publication of my first novel, The Road Between. I spent three years writing it and I never thought I would ever publish it.

The unfulfilled ambition that continues to haunt you…

My first love was the theatre. I always wanted to be an actor. I took classes, went on casting calls, and was scouted by modelling agencies, but eventually, I had to let that dream go, and I am glad I did. If I had continued to pursue it, who knows where I would have ended up or with whom. I happen to enjoy the life I have now.

The pet hate that makes your hackles rise…

I hate when people cannot have an intelligent, respectful debate. I think differing opinions are great, and people should be encouraged to discuss their differences and learn from each other. Too often though people listen to respond rather than listen to understand, and that irks me. We are all guilty of it from time to time, but I think it is essential to be cognizant of it.

The figure from history you would most like to buy a pie and a pint…

Jesus. I am not a religious person by any means, but I would love the chance to sit down with him. I would enjoy learning the truth right from the horse’s mouth, rather than through centuries of writings, translations, and second editions. I am a truth seeker. I would ask him flat out about religion. I have a suspicion that some things have been exaggerated over time and may not have happened precisely as written. I hope I do not offend anybody by saying that.

The piece of wisdom you would pass onto a child…

Do not be so eager to grow up. Enjoy being young as much as you can for as long as you can. Being older might seem like freedom, but freedom has a price.

The treasured item you lost and wish you could have again…

Innocence. Certain things happened in my life that has made me cynical or jaded. I sometimes wonder the type of person I would be if those things had not happened.

The crime you would commit knowing you could get away with it…

I would rob Fort Knox and live on a tropical paradise somewhere.

The character you enjoyed writing the most…

Ruby Johnson. She is a spitfire. She says exactly what she wants when she wants. She is always unapologetic and 100% true to herself. Plus, she makes me laugh out loud. She has most of the jokes in The Good Ship Lollipop.

The character you found difficult to write…

Jax was tough to write, for sure. I learned that Australians have quite an extensive list of slang words that North Americans have never heard! While writing The Good Ship Lollipop, I wanted to give Jax an authentic Australian inner dialogue. Half-way through, I realized half-way that was going to be challenging. I was unsure how to write him an authentic Australian voice without the reader having to stop and google what many of the words meant. So, I went back and re-worked the plot so that Jax had been living in the United States for a longer time. This way, many of his thoughts would be Americanized. BUT I still made sure to write Jax’s chapters in Australian spelling, because that is likely something that would not have changed no matter how long he had been away from home. lol

The book you enjoyed planning/writing the most…

The Road Between. It was a very personal book to write, as I used a lot of my real childhood experiences as inspiration. I also found it therapeutic. It was gratifying having a forum to express many of the feelings I had had as a child towards my father but had kept bottled up.

And the promo…

For anyone who read my first book, The Road Between, this will be an entirely different experience for you. It is a comedic romp through the Caribbean islands. There are some serious or uncomfortable moments, but really, it is mostly about having fun and falling in love on the open water. If you are looking for an easy read with much humour, I hope you will give The Good Ship Lollipop a chance because it was a joy to write.

The cover is designed by Rebecca P from Rebecca Covers on Fiverr, and without even reading the manuscript, she captured the essence of this story perfectly. It is colourful and light-hearted. This is one of those rare instances I think it is ok to judge a book by its cover. 😉

About the Author

This is Patrick Benjamin’s second novel. He was excited to try his hand at something lighter and more humorous than his debut novel (The Road Between). Patrick can most often be found spending quiet evenings at home with his husband, Jarrett and his puppy, Dax. When he’s not writing, Patrick can often be seen performing on stage as his glamorous drag persona Tequila Mockingbird. He also volunteers on the Board of Directors of a non-profit organization that has proudly served the LGBTQ2S+ community for 45 years.

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