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REVIEW: Be Mine, Twisted Valentine by Gianni Holmes
Corrupt Cupid: Be Mine, Twisted Valentine – Gianni Holmes
Fifteen years ago, I helped put my abductor behind bars.
And shunned the events of my traumatic past.
I’ve lived a content life with my wife.
Until the dreaded phone call.Duncan Whittaker’s out on parole.
The first time I confront him, I intend to kill him.
But when we’re face to face, everything changes.
I’m still codependent on him.Duncan’s the only man who’s ever made me feel desire.
He’s also the one who held me captive for almost a year.
Isolated me from others to make me grateful for his presence.
Deprived me of sensation to make me crave his unwanted touch.Duncan Whittaker’s the sadist who broke me in the name of revenge.
Now his twisted obsession is about to ruin my life a second time.
And God help me, but I don’t know how to stop him.
I… may not want to stop him.Be mine, Twisted Valentine is part of a multi-author collab. Ditch the hearts and flowers and step into the dark world of Corrupt Cupid. Each book can be read as a standalone, but why not grab each and every deranged romantic tale as you slip into a place where darkness rules?
I thought I had a strong stomach when it came to dark romance. Be Mine, Twisted Valentine, Book 1 of Corrupt Cupid, a multi-author collab, proved me wrong. The opening chapter alone churned my insides with how exceedingly creepy it is inside the mind of Duncan Whittaker.
The story is a Stockholm Syndrome romance between Duncan and his captive, Teddy Scott, son of the police captain who killed Duncan’s younger brother. As revenge, he abducted Teddy and kept him in a white-out room for nine months, deprived of all senses, driving Teddy mad and desperate to feel anything.
Teddy was so desperate that he started making himself bleed so that he could feel something. Duncan tortured the young man and eventually had BDSM sex with him because Teddy responded the most to pain, then later to the few crumbs of kindness and affection the psycho deigned to dole out, so deprived Teddy was.
The story opens with the courtroom scene, Teddy on the witness stand and in Duncan’s POV. His chilling thoughts showed how much power he had on Teddy. He was spectacularly confident of his hold on the young man, and everyone was shocked when Teddy reversed his testimony just because he saw Duncan looking straight at him.
Fifteen years later, Teddy’s carefully constructed ‘normal life’ crumbled when he received a phone call that Duncan Whittaker was out on parole. He grabbed a gun, drove to Duncan’s house, and started stalking his former captor. Meanwhile, Duncan has court orders to stay away from his victim.
I spent the majority of the book disturbed yet riveted. It was a trainwreck I couldn’t look away. I was hella curious how, HOW is this relationship going to work. How is this romance when it’s nothing but insidious lust and the most toxic co-dependency I’ve witness?!
No matter how dark the romance is, for it to work, there should be some kind of redeeming quality, something that would make me root even just a little for both characters. Here, you have to dig extra deep, because the kernel of good is buried under layers and layers of manipulation, denial, and violence.
Duncan is still as manipulative and unrepentant of the abuse he had done. He’s cold and brutally direct. He says exactly what he means, so at least, he can claim he doesn’t lie. Once in a while, we glimpse a softer side, a tiny, tiny kindness, some niggle of conscience that shows he got a heart somewhere deep down.
Duncan voices things Teddy is too afraid to admit to himself. He confides that he himself is bewildered by this magnetic pull towards Teddy, his pet, likening it to a disease that took hold and spread like cancer that consumed his entire being.
Teddy, oh boy, the man is a mess! A tiresome one too. Teddy says one thing and does the opposite, always in denial but acting otherwise. Goes to Duncan’s house then does his hairpulling routine after having sex with Duncan. Then sneaks out of his house in the middle of the night, leaving his pregnant wife, for more of the same.
One thing I liked about him is that he is fiercely protective of Cassie. The cheating disaster of a husband that he is, he actually shot Duncan when the man threatened her.
Cassie drops her own bomb near the end. I already had my suspicions, and it’s just another proof of the lengths Duncan will go to for his pet.
Just when I was about to lose hope of these two ever getting their shit together, Duncan started making certain decisions. I wouldn’t say things became swoony, this story will never be squees and fluff. But it was a genuine effort to redeem himself.
Teddy too, resolved his internal conflict and blurted out his truths. And just like that, everything clicked! It was completely fucked up but it worked! I heartily applaud the author for taking a huge risk with this story and it is a risk that paid off big time!
Be Mine, Twisted Valentine is a game of revenge, obsession, and dare we say, love in all its twisted glory. Deep, dark, and all-consuming.
Rating:
4.5 Stars – perfection is only half a step awaySoundtrack: Twisted By Design
Artist: Sum 41
Album: 13 Voices
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REVIEW: The Bitter Rivals Fiasco by Hayden Hall
Frat Brats of Santa Barbara: The Bitter Rivals Fiasco – Hayden Hall
I fell in love with the enemy. Twice.
Hudson
For my twenty-first, I threw a masquerade party and met the most exciting guy on the planet, dressed as a fallen angel. Then, I never saw him again.
And just when I think my life is perfect, in walks my nemesis, Tate Anderson.
The guy’s got no finesse. He looks down on everyone, especially me. So, when the mischievous wannabe matchmaker of a professor forces me into a project with none other than Tate, I seriously consider dropping out.
Except, the more time I spend with him, and the more we growl and bark at each other, the tighter my chest feels around him.
To put him out of my mind and escape the feelings I’d kept at bay for so long, I keep throwing the biggest parties in the city. Like some modern version of Jay Gatsby, I hope to run into my mysterious fallen angel, but he’s ever so elusive.
Until he shows up again.
And I take his mask off…
Tate
My life sucks but don’t make a mistake thinking I would let anyone know.
Especially not Hudson Blackwood. That guy’s gloating enough already. Ugh… He laughs too much, pretends he’s so cool, nothing really bothers him.
Well, except the fact he’s stuck with me on a semester-long project. But I’m stuck with him just as much. He’s also hot as hell and knows it, which makes him infinitely more annoying.
And if that’s not enough, my stepmother is spending the last of my late dad’s fortune on her two sons and I have to study every waking moment to keep my scholarship.
The only escape I’ve had since coming to Santa Barbara were the masquerade parties a tall, handsome guy dressed as The Phantom keeps throwing.
Before I know it, I am hurtling into love and I hate it. I know my stepmother will uproot me again before the year is done. Besides, I don’t even know who this smoking hot Phantom is. This can only end one way, and it’s not good.
It’s just better for everyone if the masks stay on.
The Bitter Rivals Fiasco is an enemies-to-lovers story featuring one certified player, his moody, lifelong rival, and a Cinderella-meets-Great-Gatsby storyline. This is the fourth book in the Frat Brats of Santa Barbara series. While it can be read on its own, it’s just more fun to read them in order, since the series follows a group of friends as they grow and mature at a prestigious, boys-only business school, Highgate Academy.
The Bitter Rivals Fiasco is a blind read that turned out to be a win! Not perfect, but fantastic enough to hook me on the Frat Brats of Santa Barbara series. The book is the 4th installment of the contemporary romance series by Hayden Hall, set in a prestigious all-boys business school.
The plot is a Cinderella + Romeo and Juliet retelling with a side of Phantom of the Opera. Bitter rivals Tate Anderson and Hudson Blackwood hate each other since high school after Tate’s father edged Hudson’s parents out of a deal. They met again at Highgate Academy and promptly resumed one-upping each other in class so intensely that the professor assigned them to work together on a project.
Tate’s father was a workaholic who always told Tate to choose his battles. The man later married a cold-hearted woman who pretended to care for him, then grabbed the power of attorney out from under Tate’s nose when his father was on death’s door.
Now, the solitary broody Tate has to earn the money that was rightfully his, doing all the chores in the house and whatever else his stepmother orders in exchange for a meager allowance. He’s in Highgate on a scholarship he is busting his balls to keep, on top of his other tasks.
In contrast, Hudson comes from a loving home, is surrounded by friends, and is so rich he throws parties at the most exclusive clubs whenever he wants. On his 21st birthday, he threw a masquerade party where everyone was encouraged to be as unrecognizable as possible.
Cue the Phantom, the Fallen Angel and one unforgettable night.
Tate, as Cinderella, abides by his stepmother’s rules, as per necessity, but by no means a doormat. He snarks, negotiates, or even loses his temper at the last straws. But then, has to pay the price later on. His stepmother became especially vile towards him when he came out. She forces him to live in the attic and locks him out of the house when he’s out past curfew.
Hudson used to crush on Tate in high school until he learned what happened with their fathers. He held on to his grudge until he learned the true state of affairs. Then, as the prince, sweeps his fallen angel off his feet, and with the help of their fairy godmother, a.k.a. Hudson’s badass mom gives a satisfactory comeuppance for the villain.
This is an enemies-to-lovers story, and this part is done to sizzling perfection. The succeeding masked encounters in more parties, still anonymous to each other, and their public interactions as bickering rivals created a fabulous, squee-tastic buildup to the big reveal.
The antagonism mixed so deliciously with the magnetic pull towards each other. The air of mystery, the tingle of anticipation, the zing of sexual tension, FEELS you can cut with a knife!
The friendships were also one of my favorite parts. The Frat Brats were loyal friends to Hudson, cheering him on his pursuit of his fallen angel. Though they were wink*wink* to the angel’s true identity, knowing Hudson has no clue and looking forward to him blowing his mind when he finds out.
Alex is a fellow student and another fairy godmother, the master designer who created Tate’s beguiling look. He and his boyfriend Franklin befriended the lone wolf. They and the Frat Brats were memorable so I’m looking forward to their books.
The writing is why I’m not 100% into the story. The prose and the dialogues tend to veer towards melodrama. Not sure if it’s because of the fairy tale themes, but sometimes the phrasing is too fancy, like something out of a Victorian romance novel. One reviewer used the term “purple prose.” The effect is enhanced by how narrator Jon Waters sometimes sounds like he’s about to break into a British accent.
Still, The Bitter Rivals Fiasco is a retelling done right, with well executed tropes, familiar yet still exciting. All in all, sweet, spicy and utterly captivating!
Rating:
4 Stars – minor quibbles but I loved it to bitsSoundtrack: Masquerade Butterfly
Artist: Miura Ayme
Album: Masquerade Butterfly
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BOOK BLITZ: Online Rebellion: The Escape by Blue Matt Jeff
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REVIEW: Igni Ferroque by Ashlyn Drewek
Tennebrose: Igni Ferroque – Ashlyn Drewek
Despite being branded as an outcast amongst outcasts, Phelan Oliver devotes his life to helping his fellow Necromancers. But even with his vast knowledge, nothing prepares him for the day he comes face to face with a demon he didn’t summon—one who embodies everything he has been taught to hate, whose wickedness sparks sinful feelings Phelan can’t ignore no matter how much he tries.
Taken captive by a prince of Hell, Phelan strikes a desperate bargain. In exchange for his soul’s freedom, he’ll give his captor what he wants, even if it means betraying his own family.
But demons aren’t the only ones with secrets and Phelan’s might end up costing them both more than they’d ever imagined.
IGNI FERROQUE is a dark MM paranormal romance about a pious Necromancer and an incorrigible demon and what happens when their paths intersect. There’s scorching steam and brutal violence in this enemies-to-lovers tale, wrapped up with plenty of intrigue and betrayal. It is intended for a mature audience and reader discretion is advised. A full list of triggers can be found in the front matter of the book and at my website under Tropes & Triggers.
This book can be read as a standalone, but it is highly suggested to read the series in order, as the history of Winslow and its witches builds on itself with each book.
Igni Ferroque is a book that comes with a long list of trigger warnings: non-con, dub-con, blood play, torture, mental illness, occult practices, mentions of animal and human sacrifices, controversial commentary on religion, particularly Catholicism, and more listed in the book.
Author Ashlyn Drewek excels at darkly delicious enemies-to-lovers romances and pulled no punches in this sequel to Malum Discordae, Book 1 of Tennebrose. I definitely enjoyed this book more than its predecessor.
Tennebrose is a secretly magical university in Winslow, where witches trace their family histories to the past 400 years. The university is where their sons and daughters study among unaware non-magical students.
Phelan Oliver is a necromancer from a renowned family of necromancers currently working as a research librarian at the university. The necromancers of Winslow have been systematically summoning demons listed in the Book of Lazarus, only to kill them once they appear. Phelan is one of those involved in the rituals, though his powers barely exist.
The fun started when Demon Prince Remiel spotted him and took a liking to the necromancer. After stalking Phelan for a while, only to find out how blah the man’s life is, he whisked the necromancer to his domain in hell and had his wicked way with him.
On her website, the author admitts that writing the non-con parts was difficult.
“Given all the other horrible things Remiel does, why should that one thing stop him? So even though I knew some readers would hate me for it, I left my human morality at the door and wrote my demon prince as authentically as I could. Did I say it was ok? No. Does Phelan say it’s ok? No. In fact, he brings it up to Remiel on two different occasions to let him know he hasn’t forgotten. But Phelan (and I) also realized Remiel would never apologize for something he didn’t feel bad about because he doesn’t see right/wrong the same way we do. “
And yes, Remiel is the best character here. Sardonic and sauve, he was always true to his demon nature. He was both the dastardly villain and the charming prince sweeping our boy off his feet. He resorts to torture and seduction to weaken Phelan’s resolve, he could be so amoral and cold in some situations, then be a source of comfort and subtle but heartfelt affection.
And always, Phelan’s most fiercest protector.
Complicated he may be, there are no doubts about his deep, unspoken feelings for the necromancer. The tender feather caresses were my favorite!
Phelan, on the other hand, behaves as most ultra-religious MCs I’ve read. This is a man who lives like a 14th-century monk, denying himself pleasure, remaining completely celibate throughout his 30 years, and even whipping himself with those nasty whips used by flagellates.
Initially, he proved quite resistant to Remiel’s methods of seduction because our boy is nothing if not stubborn. He even outwitted the demon prince once. At times, I wasn’t impressed with his actions and reactions, always with the woes, the blame, or begging for punishment from God because he was in complete denial of who he is
Phelan shines best when he’s going toe to toe with demons. Our boy can be quite ballsy and surprisingly wily, outwitting yet another demon prince to save his demon prince. The necromancer even challenged the king of hell in a gutsy move that completely won me over.
This is a long book about the ever-evolving and hella nuclear relationship between Remiel and Phelan. The sexual tension burns like the flames of hell, leaving our virgin hero scorched, conflicted, and then later, became Remiel’s most feral savior. The evolution of their romance was well-paced, convincing, and deliciously satisfying!
Interwoven with the romance are fascinating twisty-turny threads of family secrets, dark pasts, demon wars, town conspiracies, deadly grimoires, and powerful arcane relics bestowed by God himself. Tennebrose lore was already rich and here it brought the series to another level!
There are minor hiccups, things the editor might have missed. Like how one body part was able to reach a certain body part when they were already in a certain position. Or a couple of reactions that seemed confusing or out of character.
Also, just a heads up if you are sensitive about religion, the story might appear to have a grim view of Catholicism and religion as a whole. This is usually voiced through Remiel, who continuously challenges Phelan to be honest with himself and embrace his true nature.
But, however tumultuous and dark the journey is for Phelan, in the end, it’s all in God’s plan. And it was the most bombastic, genius coup de etat + coup de gras + literal deus ex machina climax, I could only shake my head in amazement!
It turned Phelan’s world upside down and inside out, and just like that, he found his place in the grand scheme of things. I could imagine the Almighty giving Phelan and Remiel a big, cheeky wink across the cosmos.
Igni Ferroque is a potent brew of occult and romance told with the skill of a born storyteller. Overall, unapologetically dark and incendiary!
Rating:
4.5 Stars – perfection is only half a step awaySoundtrack: Sanctify
Artist: Olly Alexander (Years & Years)
Album: SanctifyP.S.
Tennebrose books can be read as standalones but get to know the discordant town of Winslow in Malum Discordiae.
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NEW RELEASE BLITZ: Siphany and the Whale by Susan Jane Bigelow (Excerpt & Giveaway)
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REVIEW: You Should Be So Lucky by Cat Sebastian
Midcentury NYC: You Should Be So Lucky – Cat Sebastian
An emotional, slow-burn, grumpy/sunshine, queer mid-century romance about grief and found family, between the new star shortstop stuck in a batting slump and the reporter assigned to (reluctantly) cover his first season—set in the same universe as We Could Be So Good.
The 1960 baseball season is shaping up to be the worst year of Eddie O’Leary’s life. He can’t manage to hit the ball, his new teammates hate him, he’s living out of a suitcase, and he’s homesick. When the team’s owner orders him to give a bunch of interviews to some snobby reporter, he’s ready to call it quits. He can barely manage to behave himself for the length of a game, let alone an entire season. But he’s already on thin ice, so he has no choice but to agree.
Mark Bailey is not a sports reporter. He writes for the arts page, and these days he’s barely even managing to do that much. He’s had a rough year and just wants to be left alone in his too-empty apartment, mourning a partner he’d never been able to be public about. The last thing he needs is to spend a season writing about New York’s obnoxious new shortstop in a stunt to get the struggling newspaper more readers.
Isolated together within the crush of an anonymous city, these two lonely souls orbit each other as they slowly give in to the inevitable gravity of their attraction. But Mark has vowed that he’ll never be someone’s secret ever again, and Eddie can’t be out as a professional athlete. It’s just them against the world, and they’ll both have to decide if that’s enough.
You Should Be So Lucky is the second book of Midcentury NYC, a historical series by Cat Sebastian about queer newspaper reporters in 1960s New York City. The story stars Mark Bailey, whom we met in We Could Be So Good as the book reviewer and Nick Russo’s sorta friend.
Mark, outta sorts since the loss of longtime boyfriend William, was voluntold by the publisher and Nick’s boyfriend, Andy Fleming III, to write a series of diary-like columns on Eddie O’Leary, the golden boy recently traded to the newly formed baseball team, The Robins.
Mark is essentially, a grieving widower. He and William were married in all but the law. William was a lawyer. He left Mark a sizable fortune, a huge apartment full of antiques, and a spoiled diva of a dog, Lula.
Now in the worst slump of his life, Eddie is given the cold shoulder by his entire team and boo-ed by fans for his outrageous rants against the perpetually losing Robins when he was about to be traded. While he may be hot-tempered at times, this baseball player is also a ball of good cheer and contagious smiles.
Eddie’s skeptical about Mark’s column but as one of those see-ers of good in people, it wasn’t long until he trusted the reporter. It also didn’t hurt that Mark looked delectable in his suits and that the diary entries weren’t what he expected.
This is a story about a talented pro-athlete in a slump and I just realized as I was writing this, that Mark was also in a slump. I loved the author’s take on the theme. There are no miracle cures, no insta-power-ups, and no sudden heroes. Just Eddie, being a poster boy for slumps but in a good way. Because even golden boys have slumps, just like the rest of us.
Mark is slowly finding inspiration to write again the more he spends time with Eddie and the Robins. Sometimes it’s a matter of how you look at things. Mark realizes that there’s more to the story than Eddie O’Leary.
He finds other topics, such as the unexpected appeal of the Robins. There’s also an unlikely second chance in the team’s notorious coach, a former baseball superstar now a drunkard and a womanizer.
Meanwhile, Eddie grits his teeth and keeps at it until he is lucky to get a hit or two. The man was floundering but slowly won over his team. And they pitched in to help his batting skills. Like Mark, Eddie discovers the hidden depths of his notorious coach, a method to his madness.
There’s a lovely found family here, not only for the queers but for their allies. One of the most touching parts is Mark and his friendship with elderly reporter George Allen.
There’s a low thrum of grief in the story and many small joys scattered throughout. We have a wonderful friendship-turned-romantic-relationship between Mark and Eddie and an adorkable ray of sunshine in Eddie, whose wholesomeness and joy radiate happy vibes off the page. Grumpy Mark didn’t stand a chance!
But the book also suffered the same complaints as We Could Be So Good. The damned thing was so sloooow! I felt every drag of the molasses-slow pacing, it became a chore to read. And like its predecessor, there’s a lot of nothing going on. Sure, I sang praises earlier, but it took a god-awfully loooong time to get to those points. And it is repetitive, too.
I love slow-burn romance, but better make sure the rest of the book isn’t dragging its feet, too.
You Should Be So Lucky is a story of second chances, a celebration of baseball, and an appreciation for suits. It’s very much YMMV, so I still encourage everyone to grab it. Overall, an inspiring sports romance brimming with optimism and healing that falls between like and love.
Rating:
3.5 Stars – that place between like and loveSoundtrack: Lucky You
Artist: Lightning Seeds
Album: JollificationP.S.
Midcentury NYC books are interconnected but We Could Be So Good and You Should Be So Lucky can be read as a standalones.
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COVER REVEAL: The Death Bringer by J. Scott Coatsworth (Excerpt)
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NEW RELEASE: House of Darkyn by Crea Reitan
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REVIEW: Death In The Spires by K.J. Charles
Death In The Spires – K.J. Charles
The newspapers called us the Seven Wonders. We were a group of friends, that’s all, and then Toby died. Was killed. Murdered.
1905. A decade after the grisly murder of Oxford student Toby Feynsham, the case remains hauntingly unsolved. For Jeremy Kite, the crime not only stole his best friend, it destroyed his whole life. When an anonymous letter lands on his desk, accusing him of having killed Toby, Jem becomes obsessed with finally uncovering the truth.
Jem begins to track down the people who were there the night Toby died – a close circle of friends once known as the ‘Seven Wonders’ for their charm and talent – only to find them as tormented and broken as himself. All of them knew and loved Toby at Oxford. Could one of them really be his killer?
As Jem grows closer to uncovering what happened that night, his pursuer grows bolder, making increasingly terrifying attempts to silence him for good. Will exposing Toby’s killer put to rest the shadows that have darkened Jem’s life for so long? Or will the gruesome truth only put him in more danger?
Some secrets are better left buried…
From the bestselling, acclaimed author of The Magpie Lord and The Secret Lives of Country Gentlemen comes a chilling historical mystery with a sting in the tail. You won’t be able to put this gripping story down!
Death In the Spires is foremost a murder mystery. While there are some queer romantic elements, it is one man’s quest to solve the decade-old murder of his friend, an incident that destroyed his life.
The story is set in Oxford at the turn of the century and in Jeremy Kite’s POV. Jeremy, a mathematics major, is there on a scholarship. He’s painfully conscious of his club foot and provincial accent, especially when surrounded by sons of lords and maharajahs.
On his first day, he was adopted into a group that became known as the Feynsham set.
Toby Feynsham – a marquis’s son and fearless leader of the group. He has the audacity of someone who doesn’t worry about the consequences.
Nicky Rook – Toby’s best friend since childhood. Nicky is blunt and sarcastic. He’s also known to be in love with Toby. Later became Jem’s lover.
Hugo Morley-Adam – a rich man’s son and a celebrated athlete. He and Nicky were fencing rivals. Hugo is a likable fellow and has political ambitions
Ella – Toby’s twin sister and the more cerebral of the two. A statuesque woman, Ella is a chemistry major. She and Aaron started dating later on
Pru – Ella’s friend and a mathematics major. Pru is petite, more introverted and, like Jem, came from a working class background
Aaron – an African man majoring in medicine. Aaron is also into athletics and frequently runs with Hugo. They also discovered he cannot act when the group auditioned for a Shakespearean play.The group made waves around the campus and even starred in Cymbeline, a hit among the students. At their peak, the Feynsham set was glorious. Then Toby was found dead, everyone was suspect.
Ten years later, Jem received a letter accusing him of the murder, so he decided to investigate.
I love Jem! He’s smol, he’s tired, he’s jobless and almost broke, and his leg hurts, but our boy’s not leaving any stones unturned. He’s a man who wants to start living his life and he can only do that if he puts spectres of the past to rest once and for all.
The plot alternates between flashbacks to university days and the present day. Jem was forced to swallow bitter truths, reopen old wounds, and reveal secret crimes during his investigation.
The complicated relationships of different personalities, their spectacularly vitriolic fallout, and their begrudging reunion interweave with the author’s go-to themes of class difference, excesses of privilege, the importance of consent, and the right to bodily autonomy.
Jem also reunites with Nicky. The romance here is very HFN. I didn’t like it but we were warned this is not romance-centric.
I love the dark academia vibe! K.J. Charles always has a way of making her settings immersive. Gaslit streets, pea soup fog, imposing ancient buildings, and shadowy figures stalking Jem popped up like movie scenes in my mind.
The mystery was twisty-turny, suspenseful, and very effectively made me thoroughly invested in finding the truth. I thought I had a handle on it, knowing the author’s style, but she still pulled off some unexpected reveals.
And, of course, the writing. Apart from the nuanced characters and plot twists, the author’s sharp wit, humor, and overall word wizardry make reading a breeze while also being a masterclass in writing.
Overall, Death In The Spires is a vision of youth through rose-colored glasses and jaundiced eyes. Brilliantly written, wonderfully atmospheric and as gripping and addictive as promised!
Rating:
4 Stars – minor quibbles but I loved it to bitsSoundtrack: Shake It Out
Artist: Florence + The Machine
Album: Ceremonials
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REVIEW: Impromptu Match by Lily Mayne
Goliaths of Wrestling: Impromptu Match – Lily Mayne
I, Taylor Hough, am a painfully average guy.
I have the soul-destroying corporate job, I iron my underpants, and I was unceremoniously dumped for an influencer hippie a few years ago. Every day feels the same, and I don’t know how much longer I can cope before I do something unhinged like rip off my shirt in the middle of my co-worker’s office birthday party and smear lemon cake all over my chest.
But then a case of mistaken identity suddenly lands me in the middle of a covert professional wrestling league, which is apparently being run in the basement of my office building. Weird. Even weirder are the wrestlers. They seem… otherworldly. So does the rest of the staff. And the audience. Pretty much everyone except boring old me.
And then there’s the owner, Holt Hector, with whom I have an extremely embarrassing first encounter. He’s ridiculously attractive, even in the inhuman cosplay get-up he’s wearing that only makes him hotter, if I’m being totally honest.
Then I discover it’s not a costume. And that the show put on by Goliaths of Wrestling every night is more monstrous reality than mindblowing special effects.
My previously boring life is suddenly no longer quite so average, and hot-as-hell Holt is inexplicably as interested in me, and my ironed underpants, as I am in him and his strange new world.
As someone who grew up on WWE, Goliaths of Wrestling, a paranormal series about a secret league of monster wrestlers, is a spectacle I cannot miss!
Hard to believe that this is from renowned paranormal romance writer Lily Mayne, author of Monstrous, a post-apocalyptic monster-romance series that is as emotionally gut-wrenching as it is heartwarming. She does a 180-degree turn, starting with the series opener, Impromptu Match.
I didn’t read the blurb, just knowing this is about professional wrestling was enough to hook me. So I didn’t know what to expect when the story started with 39-year-old office worker Taylor Hough’s 1st-person POV, telling us how boring his life is, always falling into the same humdrum routine the moment he wakes up, goes to work, and even his evenings.
Taylor swears he used to be fun. He became this average, boring office drone who hated his job because his ex wanted him to fit a mold. Only to declare Taylor boring and promptly left him for a long-haired surfer.
The mood was the sad-funny of black comedies.
A rush escape from an office birthday party, an oddly specific request from a mysterious individual, and a case of mistaken identity plunge Taylor headfirst into the secret world of monsters, the underground Goliaths of Wrestling league, and its gorgeous, long-haired, grey-skinned owner, Holt Hector.
Then everything was stupid and funny and so dumb it’s brilliant!
Taylor and Holt hit it off by drunkenly oversharing their deepest, most shameful secrets. Taylor confesses everything from ironing his underpants while watching sad British soaps to farting in his boss’s office. Holt remembers accidentally ripping his skin-tight pants and exposing his butthole to a group of Japanese businessmen. He also confesses to throwing his back out trying to suck his own dick.
It was the start of a great found family, a blossoming romance, and a supportive if chaotic dumb and dumber relationship that could actually be goals…
Meanwhile, we are also introduced to the other employees. Larkin is Holt’s PA and a doofus fae unwittingly instrumental in Taylor and Holt’s meeting. Seb is a werewolf working as Holt’s bodyguard and may or may not be into Larkin.
The wrestlers were a riot! It’s a diverse crew with everything from a dullahan, the cowboy Dullahan Dan, to an incubus wearing a nun’s habit, Gabe, to a female satyr, G.O.A.T., an honest-to-goodness Valkyrie, Val, and a pair called Frank and Beans, who look like halves of a bean with super long dicks they can connect to form some kind of limbo stick finishing move. There are also vampires, ghouls, werewolves, and mothmen.
The plot alternates between Taylor interacting with the paranormals, Larkin’s dumbass antics, and going through Taylor’s mundane routines to increasingly creative shenanigans with Holt.
The gags were hilarious and since the wrestlers have supernatural abilities, the wrestling matches were extra OTT! I loved that the author captured the cheesetastic camp of wrestling gimmicks and up the ante by making the athletes actual monsters!
So I was kinda annoyed that there are too many sex scenes popping up like unskippable ads in a YouTube video. Then belatedly realized that the book is actually erotica. Though, what I liked about the sex scenes, and their relationship as a whole, is that it shows Holt being as equally dorky as Taylor.
When Holt was introduced as the enigmatic paranormal who feeds on other people’s feelings, you’d think he’d be all dominant, broody, alphahole type. I mean, look at him at the cover.
Nope, this is a man who complains that his balls are not symmetrical and wears smokey eyeshadow, leather pants, and pink cat-eye glasses, anything bright pink really. And this dork, adores everything about Taylor, from his sad office worker ennui to his British soaps.
Impromptu Match is a ridiculous, silly, kinda cute, and surprisingly uplifting tale of a man tired of life discovering that the world is full of wonders if you know where to look.
And as my English teacher used to say, the moral of the story is about loving a person, farts and all. It’s all about finding that freak that matches one’s freak. And if that freak happens to be an actual monster, well that would be quite a match!
Rating:
4 Stars – minor quibbles but I loved it to bitsSoundtrack: Nothing Worth Loving Isn’t Askew
Artist: Lemon Demon
Album: Dinosaurchestra
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IMPROMPTU MATCH: Kindle I Audiobook
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