BLOG TOUR: Late Bloomer Baby Boomer: A Collection of Humorous Essays About Being Gay Back in the Day and Finally Finding My Way by Steve Milliken (Excerpt + Q&A with Author)
Laugh-out-loud stories about coming out, coming of age, and coming to terms with myself—finally!
Blurb
What happens when the class clown embraces his truth, becomes a teacher, and takes on the absurdities of life? Hilarity ensues.
In LATE BLOOMER BABY BOOMER: A Collection of Humorous Essays About Being Gay Back in the Day and Finally Finding My Way, Steve Milliken delivers a laugh-out-loud memoir packed with sharp wit, self-deprecating humor, and occasional bursts of wisdom. With the observational humor of David Sedaris and the candid charm of Augusten Burroughs, these essays explore self-discovery, urban teaching misadventures, and the hilarity of navigating adulthood as a gay baby boomer.
Spoiler: It’s a parade of pitfalls, pratfalls, and punchlines.
Review Quote: “Delivers great sendups of the gay dating scene… impressive comedic timing. Each essay is short and snappy… A wide-ranging collection driven by humor and insight.” — Kirkus Reviews
Excerpt 1: From “Introduction”
“Some people ask me, ‘Steve, who’s the target audience for your book?’
And I tell them:
‘My book is for anyone who is gay, knows someone who’s gay, or someone who is NOT gay but would like to be! Or… a straight guy who’s had a gay experience—like wearing a belt that matches his shoes.’”
“Back in my distant youth, I pursued a career as an actor, but the problem with acting for me was that I was a comic character actor trapped in a leading man’s body. If Rodney Dangerfield and Grace Kelly had a baby, that would have been me.
But to be honest, I never wanted to be rich and famous… and so far, that’s working out great! Not really…”
Excerpt 2: From “Epistolary Possibilities for a New Year”
“After not working out for a month, I arrived at the gym only to realize my gym bag had turned into a mildew science project thanks to a rogue water bottle. Unfortunately, I discovered this catastrophe only after I’d stripped down in the locker room. I panicked, naturally, but I was too far gone to turn back. I had no choice but to wear my stinky clothes.”
“Now, I’m not religious, but in moments like these, I consider a higher power. I clutched my hands together and said a novena to the patron saint of putrid smells: ‘Our Lady of Sacred Stench, please help me now.’”
“Once on the gym floor, I tried to keep a safe distance from everyone. But when someone got too close, I’d suddenly dash to another part of the gym for no apparent reason. I’d seen my cat do this, so it seemed worth a try…”
Excerpt 3: From “Bitch Ass Snitch”
“One day, I ‘snitched’ to the Dean about a student of mine who had tagged his desk with a box cutter blade. The next day, when he came back, in front of the whole class, he called me a ‘bitch ass snitch’ and ran out of the classroom.
Later that day, in the staff parking lot, I discovered someone had vandalized my car.”
‘Gee, I wonder who that could have been?’
Of course, I came to one conclusion… ‘Karma’s a bitch… for a bitch ass snitch!’”
Excerpt 4: From “Changing Closets”
“Originally, I was in the closet for being gay… but now I’m in the closet about my age.
To counter the effects of aging, I’ve reluctantly adhered to diet and exercise mandates. I even tried becoming a vegetarian… although not a strict one.
Occasionally, I’d eat chicken, fish, and ass. I’m kidding, I kid. I didn’t eat chicken…”
Q&A with Steve Milliken
Tell us a little about yourself and your writing goals. I’m a retired high school English teacher, former stand-up comic, and recovering class clown. My writing goal has always been to make people laugh—preferably with me, and not at me, but I’ll take what I can get. I spent 20 years writing my debut book, LATE BLOOMER BABY BOOMER, A Collection of Humorous Essays About Being Gay Back in the Day and Finally Finding My Way. These days, my goal is to promote the book, spread some laughter, and post funny videos until someone gives me a Netflix special or a restraining order.
Congratulations on your latest release. Please tell us a little bit about it. What’s your favorite aspect or part of the story? Do you have a favorite character? Who/Why? Thank you! LATE BLOOMER BABY BOOMER is part memoir and part stand-up comedy routine. My favorite part is that it allowed me to share my sense of humor—which has always been my passion. Writing the book was an extension of that passion. I loved being able to interject my modern-day sober self into my past experiences—with plenty of self-deprecating humor as well as pride in my teaching career. My favorite “character,” if you will, is Me, Myself & I. They appear in every essay and manage to keep things both chaotic and charming.
Are you a planner or a pantser? I’m a storyteller by nature. I don’t sit down with a rigid plan. I start with a funny incident, then elaborate it into a story. Sometimes the direction shifts if I discover something new along the way, but mostly I follow the laughs. Every story is based on real events—nothing is made up, and everything is told through the lens of humor and reflection.
Do deadlines motivate you or block you? How do you deal with them? I didn’t have any deadlines—which might explain why the book took me 20 years to write! As a teacher, I always met deadlines. But as a writer? I worked at my own pace, which was mostly somewhere between thoughtful reflection and egregious procrastination. Dealing with writing deadlines is something I’m still learning.
Do you schedule a certain amount of time for writing each day/week? Not really. Writing inspiration can be elusive. Some days, I’m completely unmotivated, and then at 11 p.m., I’ll get an idea and stay up way too late. Writer’s block is real—and so is accidental inspiration. It often hijacks me when I’m trying to clean the kitchen or deciding whether to work out. Basically, my writing routine is a case study in inconsistent consistency.
What was the most difficult part of writing this book? Why? Writing honestly about denial—as a closeted young man and as someone in recovery. Revisiting awkward memories with clear eyes wasn’t easy. But I also discovered an uncanny ability to find humor where I didn’t expect it. My past turned out to be a lot funnier than I thought at the time.
What are your favorite genres when it comes to pleasure reading? Do you prefer to read ebooks or print? I still prefer print—there’s something about the feel of a real book. I don’t have a go-to genre, but I tend to reread my favorite books. For example, A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole has been a favorite for decades. I’ve read it eight times over the last 40 years—and counting. I also enjoy a good thriller. My life might not be thrilling, but I like to believe that something suspenseful is always just around the corner.
Does writing energize or exhaust you? Both. I’m tired and wired all the time. Writing is like having a caffeinated nap. It leaves me buzzed and wiped out in equal measure. It’s speed and sloth coexisting—basically, it’s an oxymoron with a keyboard.
If you could tell your younger writing self anything, what would it be? Stop waiting for perfection. Writing is rewriting, so just get it on the page and revise later. And yes, trust your gut—even if you had too much Thai food. Bloat is temporary. Regret is longer lasting.
What did you edit out of this book? A few essays I really loved but couldn’t wrangle into the final version—some were too weird, too niche, or better suited for therapy. One involved gastrointestinal distress combined with emotional confusion. It may return. Possibly as a one-man show. Featuring the fart machine as my co-star.
What were your goals for this book? Did you achieve them? My goal was to make people laugh, feel seen, and maybe reflect a little. Judging by the reviews and messages I’ve received, I think I did. And if nothing else, I finally got the stories out of my head and onto the page.
What do you think about when you’re alone in your car? Things I should’ve said in conversations three years ago. Also, why does road rage always seem to happen in my wake? I’m a cautious, careful driver—especially when I hit the car in front of me….
What were you like in high school? I was the class clown—desperately trying to fit in while also standing out. I loved making people laugh almost as much as I loved getting A’s. I always wanted to be popular and didn’t feel like I was at the time, but writing this book helped me realize I was more well-liked than I ever gave myself credit for. I was terrified of being gay and didn’t even know I was in the closet. Denial was my best friend—and I didn’t know we were in a relationship.
What are the three best things about you? I’m an oxymoron in motion:
I can be intelligent and insightful, yet gullible and naïve.
I’m sarcastic but caring.
I have no sense of direction—yet I’m driven. While seemingly an oxymoron, I’m never a contradiction in terms.
Who would play you in a movie about your life? Good question. When I was pursuing an acting career, my biggest obstacle was being a comic character actor trapped in a leading man’s body. If Rodney Dangerfield and Grace Kelly had a kid, that would’ve been me. Casting me now? Maybe we should take a survey….
About the Author
Steve Milliken, a native Californian who never left—thanks to a rent-controlled Santa Monica apartment—is a writer, humorist, and recovering class clown who has spent a lifetime finding the comedy in life’s quirks and curveballs. A gay baby boomer with a knack for self-deprecating wit, he’s been an inner-city teacher, a reluctant adult, and an expert in the fine art of laughing at himself.
In LATE BLOOMER BABY BOOMER: A Collection of Humorous Essays About Being Gay Back in the Day and Finally Finding My Way, Steve shares sharp, heartfelt, and laugh-out-loud stories about coming out, inner-city teaching, and navigating life one misadventure at a time. His writing has been compared to the observational humor of David Sedaris and the candid storytelling of Augusten Burroughs.
When he’s not finding the humor in everyday life, Steve creates and shares short comedy videos online based on excerpts from his book, proving that some stories are best told with a punchline… and good lighting.
