• book,  Uncategorized

    REVIEW: Impromptu Match by Lily Mayne

    Goliaths of Wrestling: Impromptu Match – Lily Mayne

    I, Taylor Hough, am a painfully average guy.

    I have the soul-destroying corporate job, I iron my underpants, and I was unceremoniously dumped for an influencer hippie a few years ago. Every day feels the same, and I don’t know how much longer I can cope before I do something unhinged like rip off my shirt in the middle of my co-worker’s office birthday party and smear lemon cake all over my chest.

    But then a case of mistaken identity suddenly lands me in the middle of a covert professional wrestling league, which is apparently being run in the basement of my office building. Weird. Even weirder are the wrestlers. They seem… otherworldly. So does the rest of the staff. And the audience. Pretty much everyone except boring old me.

    And then there’s the owner, Holt Hector, with whom I have an extremely embarrassing first encounter. He’s ridiculously attractive, even in the inhuman cosplay get-up he’s wearing that only makes him hotter, if I’m being totally honest.

    Then I discover it’s not a costume. And that the show put on by Goliaths of Wrestling every night is more monstrous reality than mindblowing special effects.

    My previously boring life is suddenly no longer quite so average, and hot-as-hell Holt is inexplicably as interested in me, and my ironed underpants, as I am in him and his strange new world.


    As someone who grew up on WWE, Goliaths of Wrestling, a paranormal series about a secret league of monster wrestlers, is a spectacle I cannot miss!

    Hard to believe that this is from renowned paranormal romance writer Lily Mayne, author of Monstrous, a post-apocalyptic monster-romance series that is as emotionally gut-wrenching as it is heartwarming. She does a 180-degree turn, starting with the series opener, Impromptu Match.

    I didn’t read the blurb, just knowing this is about professional wrestling was enough to hook me. So I didn’t know what to expect when the story started with 39-year-old office worker Taylor Hough’s 1st-person POV, telling us how boring his life is, always falling into the same humdrum routine the moment he wakes up, goes to work, and even his evenings.

    Taylor swears he used to be fun. He became this average, boring office drone who hated his job because his ex wanted him to fit a mold. Only to declare Taylor boring and promptly left him for a long-haired surfer.

    The mood was the sad-funny of black comedies.

    A rush escape from an office birthday party, an oddly specific request from a mysterious individual, and a case of mistaken identity plunge Taylor headfirst into the secret world of monsters, the underground Goliaths of Wrestling league, and its gorgeous, long-haired, grey-skinned owner, Holt Hector.

    Then everything was stupid and funny and so dumb it’s brilliant!

    Taylor and Holt hit it off by drunkenly oversharing their deepest, most shameful secrets. Taylor confesses everything from ironing his underpants while watching sad British soaps to farting in his boss’s office. Holt remembers accidentally ripping his skin-tight pants and exposing his butthole to a group of Japanese businessmen. He also confesses to throwing his back out trying to suck his own dick.

    It was the start of a great found family, a blossoming romance, and a supportive if chaotic dumb and dumber relationship that could actually be goals…

    Meanwhile, we are also introduced to the other employees. Larkin is Holt’s PA and a doofus fae unwittingly instrumental in Taylor and Holt’s meeting. Seb is a werewolf working as Holt’s bodyguard and may or may not be into Larkin.

    The wrestlers were a riot! It’s a diverse crew with everything from a dullahan, the cowboy Dullahan Dan, to an incubus wearing a nun’s habit, Gabe, to a female satyr, G.O.A.T., an honest-to-goodness Valkyrie, Val, and a pair called Frank and Beans, who look like halves of a bean with super long dicks they can connect to form some kind of limbo stick finishing move. There are also vampires, ghouls, werewolves, and mothmen.

    The plot alternates between Taylor interacting with the paranormals, Larkin’s dumbass antics, and going through Taylor’s mundane routines to increasingly creative shenanigans with Holt.

    The gags were hilarious and since the wrestlers have supernatural abilities, the wrestling matches were extra OTT! I loved that the author captured the cheesetastic camp of wrestling gimmicks and up the ante by making the athletes actual monsters!

    So I was kinda annoyed that there are too many sex scenes popping up like unskippable ads in a YouTube video. Then belatedly realized that the book is actually erotica. Though, what I liked about the sex scenes, and their relationship as a whole, is that it shows Holt being as equally dorky as Taylor.

    When Holt was introduced as the enigmatic paranormal who feeds on other people’s feelings, you’d think he’d be all dominant, broody, alphahole type. I mean, look at him at the cover.

    Nope, this is a man who complains that his balls are not symmetrical and wears smokey eyeshadow, leather pants, and pink cat-eye glasses, anything bright pink really. And this dork, adores everything about Taylor, from his sad office worker ennui to his British soaps.

    Impromptu Match is a ridiculous, silly, kinda cute, and surprisingly uplifting tale of a man tired of life discovering that the world is full of wonders if you know where to look.

    And as my English teacher used to say, the moral of the story is about loving a person, farts and all. It’s all about finding that freak that matches one’s freak. And if that freak happens to be an actual monster, well that would be quite a match!

    Rating:
    4 Stars – minor quibbles but I loved it to bits

    Soundtrack: Nothing Worth Loving Isn’t Askew
    Artist: Lemon Demon
    Album: Dinosaurchestra


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  • book,  Uncategorized

    REVIEW: Gentlemen Prefer Villains by C. Rochelle

    Villainous Things: Gentlemen Prefer Villains – C. Rochelle

    Simon

    I needed to get the hell out of Big City.

    The only reason I was living in this American wasteland was because my mother insisted I reconcile with my estranged father. That the idea came to her while drunk on the French bubbly should have been my sign to stay right where I belonged.

    Anywhere but here. Certainly somewhere more fabulous.

    When an international job opportunity arises, I jump on board. It’s just a bonus that I’ll be traveling with the epitome of tall, dark, and handsome.

    Make that muscular, morally gray, and hopefully, my next conquest.

    What’s a casual fling between coworkers, after all? I’m ready for my next big adventureβ€”far from Big Cityβ€”so if whatever we’re up to is vaguely illegal, I’ll simply turn the other cheek.

    It’s not like some superhero is going to swoop in and stop a couple of humans like us.

    Wolfgang

    I may have orchestrated my villainous parents’ deaths, but that doesn’t mean the crushing weight of my responsibilities is easy to bear.

    My sister was the only one of my siblings who knew how badly they treated me. The only one I told how much I despise my powers. Now she’s on the runβ€”leaving me to carry this alone.

    But then I meet him. I may have hired Simon Alarie as my assistant, but it’s instantly apparent he’s much more than that. He’s not only intelligent and business savvy, but fiercely loyal, and the tastiestβ€”most forbiddenβ€”little thing I’ve ever seen.

    Nothing can come of it. Because if I touch him, he dies.

    That doesn’t stop me from claiming him as mine. Whether or not this normie knows it, every inch of himβ€”every breath he takesβ€”belongs to me. And anyone who thinks otherwise will meet the Hand of Death.

    Gentlemen Prefer Villains is an MM romance between a villain and a “normie.” Our men find other men in tight supersuits incredibly attractive. Sometimes, they keep these supersuits on while engaging in explicit extracurricular activities with each other (and sometimes they even use bad words!). This is not your kid’s superhero book. This is Sin City and The Boys having a love child with extra spicy Spideypool and is meant for 18+ adults who can handle such things.

    The Villainous Things series contains standalone books (each with HEAs) that feature interconnected characters and an overarching plot. You should read them in order (starting with Not All Himbos Wear Capes)

    IF YOU LOVE (full list of CW/TW coming soon to the authors’ webpage)

    β€’ Superheroes/villains (and the β€œnormies” who love them)

    β€’ Big skerry boss + his sassy li’l assistant (SIZE DIFFERENCE)

    β€’ Mafia vibes

    β€’ Touch Him & Perish vibes too

    β€’ Casual psychopaths with mutual obsession

    β€’ SO MUCH TENSION

    β€’ Leather

    β€’ Extra spicy extracurricular activities

    β€’ Naughty dark humor + sweary dialogue

    β€’ MM romance (in case you missed that part)

    β€’ A James Bond meets Catch Me If You Can international romp

    Then shake your martini and power up!


    It boils down to this: I loved the book, I didn’t like Simon.

    Gentlemen Prefer Villains, Book 2 of Villainous Things, picks up after the events of Not All Himbos Wear Capes. Violencia is missing, and Wolfgang, now head of the Suarez family and currently using his civilian identity, is looking for a personal assistant to help look for his sister.

    Simon Alarie, spoiled son of a serial gold digger, is being interviewed. Wolfgang walks in to gauge his reaction since the notorious villain is used to being feared even out of uniform. To his surprise, not only Simon didn’t show any signs of fear, he outrageously flirted with him. He was hired on the spot.

    This is why I didn’t warm up to Simon. He was so annoying!!! Too pushy and rude!! And being spoiled, he started bossing Wolfie around, thinking the bigger man was a bodyguard. I didn’t like Wolfie being bossed around, not even if Wolfie claimed to like it.

    Wolfgang was the most enigmatic Suarez in Not All Himbos Wear Capes and one of the most powerful villains in Big City. He can absorb the power of any supe he touches or the lifeforce of a normie. One touch means instant death. No one has voluntarily touched Wolfie since he accidentally killed his nanny as a toddler.

    He was raised as a weapon by his abusive parents. As a child, his father, Apocalypto Man, ordered him to run while he hunted him in the middle of the Argentinian forest. If Wolfie is caught, he’d be killed. He was only eight years old then. This is only one of the many “trainings” he had to endure.

    As the Hand of Death, Wolfie killed whoever his parents wanted dead. As the eldest Suarez sibling, he did all he could so that his siblings were spared a similar fate. Wolfie is a born protector and carer.

    So I wasn’t thrilled about him being bossed around. After a lifetime of taking orders, I wanted him in charge.

    As the story progresses, it becomes more apparent that Simon is a psychopath. His dynamics with Wolfie are pretty similar to Julian Castellani and Leo Bernardi (His Fatal Love). Murder husbands is a favorite trope, and I wanted to like Simon, but I’m sorry, the man lacked Julian’s charm.

    The closest thing I came to liking Simon was when he went beast mode and bit everyone’s head off when Wolfie went missing. At least we know this bratty psycho will burn the world for his man. Wolfie deserves that level of devotion.

    The world-building in Villainous Things gives us enough details to imagine the scenarios, but it’s not as tightly constructed or as richly conceived as the more hardcore superhero stories. The series tends to focus more on sexy times, particularly the BDSM aspect. I’m not a fan of BDSM, so I’m neutral about the couples.

    Part of the plot is a fascinating glimpse of supe history, going back thousands of years. I hope it will be explored further because it would give the series a rich lore that could spawn more stories. It also helps with the world-building. 

    My favorite part is The Rabble, as Wolfie calls the Suarez group chat. Xander is The Mouthy One, and Butch is The Token Hero. The twins, Andre and Gabriel, are Thing One and Thing Two, while Baltazar is The Dumb One. The sibling interactions are hilarious, and I think it’s a missed opportunity not to have them together in more scenes, ala war room scenes in Necessary Evils.

    The most poignant part is Wolfie’s relationship with V. She’s closest to him, his sounding board, and the only one who knew about the abuse he suffered. Not knowing what state he will find V in or that he might be forced to kill her, since V’s berserker power makes her both deadly and also susceptible to other’s control.

    I am aware I am reading Gentlemen Prefer Villains wrong. The book is all about bratty, bossy, and BDSM, while I wanted supe lore, sibling banter, and superhuman fight scenes. Still, I got enough of the parts I wanted that I am looking forward to the next Suarez, which is Balti!

    Overall, gentlemanly villains are much preferred!

    Rating:
    4 Stars – minor quibbles but I loved it to bits

    Soundtrack: Villain
    Artist: Missio
    Album: Villain

    P.S.

    Villainous Things should be read in order. Watch The Mouthy One and The Token Hero shake things up in Big City and in the bedroom in Not All Himbos Wear Capes.


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