Paralytic Trance
there’s a specter at the end of my bed
there’s a wakefulness
there’s a book in my drawer filled with pages I ignored
a lack of reverance born into text, a malevolence
I could never repent

I conjured the fantasies when I was younger
heard god call in a murmur, faith planted by my mother
but that plant wasn’t watered, and my hope never flourished
I never found a foundation in anything you worshipped

No verses just curses
bearing down on my mind as my trust worsens
you said your love for me was shadowed
by your god, your canon, i am unhallowed

unhallowed
I am alone

guardian, step aside let no light shine in
I’ll sleep forever if it means I could speak to you again