(I Married A) Monster From Outer Space by John Cooper Clark

The milky way she walks around
All feet firmly off the ground
Two worlds collide, two worlds collide
Here comes the future bride
Gimme a lift to the lunar base
I wanna marry a monster from outer space

I fell in love with an alien being
[She had a head as big as a TV screen]
Whose skin was jelly, whose teeth were green
[A glutinous complexion with a day-glow sheen]
She had the big bug eyes and the death-ray glare
Feet like water-wings, purple hair
I was over the moon, I asked her back to my place
And then I married the monster from outer space

The days were numbered, the nights were spent
In a rent-free furnished oxygen tent
Where a cyborg chef served up moonbeams
Done super-rapid on a laser beam
I needed nutrition to keep up the pace
When I married the monster from outer space

But when we went walking tentacle in hand
You could sense that the earthlings would not understand
They’d go nudge nudge when we got on the bus
Saying “It’s extra-terrestial, not like us;
And it’s bad enough with another race,
But fuck me… a monster! from outer space?”

In this kind of atmosphere love went lame
She took a flare to from where she came
I read all the papers, looked up the stars
“Uranus is active and so is Mars”
My horoscope was horrible, told me to my face –
Avoid monsters from outer space

In a cybernetic fit of rage
She pissed off to another age
She lives in 1999
With her new boyfriend, a blob of slime
Each time I see a translucent face
I remember Errrrxxzztt from outer space.

I’m sorry I’m a monster. I don’t want to live in 1999. I like holding your hand. I just want a better Now.

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